I can rarely manage to think more than one step ahead, so I often walk out of work, get to the door of the building, and only when I see daylight realise I've left my hat in the locker room.

Yesterday I was so knackered that I when I realised I'd left both my hat and umbrella behind I trudged home in drizzle regardless.

On my way into work this morning, I was not about to throw a second hat into the mix, so I am now sunburned. I can feel my pulse in my toasted scalp.

If I had a time machine, I'd go kill the bloke who invented testosterone. How is baldness evolutionarily adaptive? Who ever wished they were able to braid their nasal hair?