Mental day at # today. # second wave panic setting in. Five times the orders one would expect for a Monday, work-supplied masks on offer (but not mandatory) for the first time, and a lot of in-store punters wearing masks. Meanwhile, I get an attack of gout half an hour into my shift, and am hobbling around in agony for five hours. Who needs a virus? My own body is out to get me. Plus there's the pain in all the diodes down my left side. Life…
Andy C mastodon (AP)
Remind me. What is your job ? Are you studying or working at an academic establishment ?
Always studying, so wherever I am is an (unaccredited) academic establishment. But I'm paid to be a part-time essential worker picking orders for home delivery at the local supermarket (Here I am, brain the size of a planet…). Jolly little sabbatical for a couple of years: very little responsibility and stress, and lost over a third of my IT nerd body weight (among other unhealthy encumbrances). However, times being what they are, I appear to have painted myself into a corner. Too poorly-paid to stay, too secure to leave. I was thinking of moving to #, but:
Andy C mastodon (AP)
Yeah - got a good mate in Melbourne and following the unfolding saga there with interest.
Andy C mastodon (AP)
You lost 1/3 of your body weight. That is staggering. Do you post for photos with @trregeagle proudly displaying your massive, outsized before and slimline after trousers ?
ghostdancer mastodon (AP)
Ok, I've read 1/3 and was thinking that must be a mistake. I hope it's because you're having a more healthy living now.
Andy C mastodon (AP)
Probably coincides with @trregeagle's departure to Broken Hill. Less chance for all night sessions sinking schooners and red wine 🙂
Andy C mastodon (AP)
Why has @trregeagle added an extra 'r' ?
I think it's an affectation. Word is that he's been rolling his 'r's all over Broken Hill.
Andy C mastodon (AP)
Mates, I'm so glad (although we had some kludgy workarounds) we've been reunited on a single platform.

'Reunited and it feels so good'.
Hard work and poverty. Some of it may be due to hair loss (which has been harrowingly considerable), but according to dodgy bathroom scales I was over 140kg at my worst, and around 90kg last time I weighed myself. Turns out you don't need to keep eating like a teenager once you're no longer a teenager.
Andy C mastodon (AP)
Crikey - I think the LHS side image needs a NSFW tag. I'm sure I saw that chap on a NetFlix Serial Outback Killer documentary 🙂

Seriously, that transformation is striking and massive. Well done.

Maybe all that pizza and fried chicken your wife force fed you was a factor [ Sorry - I wasn't going to add this PS but hey, you know me ]
definitely hairloss, that beard never suited you.

@andyc @ghostdancer
New clothes?! On my income?! I've not got my money's worth out of the last lot! I'm wearing my old trousers, wrapped double at the waist, tied with a length of rope, Steptoe-style. I've a 4XL t-shirt I now wear as a knee-length nightshirt. One evening I sneezed and it slipped off my shoulders and ended up around my ankles. I really should have taken the rubbish out before changing.
Andy C reshared this.
Andy C mastodon (AP)
That is the best thing I've read on social meejuh this week. I know it's only Monday but you've set a high bar.

I love this tune. #
Ruben friendica
@Matthew Davidson
Yep, that's a nice one.

The raw, untrammeled 80s masculinity of Rob and Deane at large in #.

YouTube: Rapid rafting and jet boating (CuriosityShow)

Ruben friendica
@Matthew Davidson
Strange ... I had a dream about Steve Irwin last night. Carol Baskin was involved in his death, I forget the details

Another meltdown at the # tonight. Donny Darkcircles, the walking advertisement for liver disease, has been raving into the rain-lashed carpark for hours. Surfin' Steptoe is currently trying to talk him down, which is no mean feat. It's hard to sound like the voice of reason with no teeth. # #

"# Coronavirus Outbreak Is Rare, Artisanal Strain Of COVID That The Rest Of Country Totally Won’t Get"
Ruben friendica

Billy # recorded one of his songs with the #:

YouTube: I'm Asking You Sergeant Where's Mine (The Dubliners - Topic)

Turned on the heater this afternoon in a moment of weakness. Then made the mistake of checking the # weather station. 16℃. I am such a wuss.
Luke mastodon (AP)
that's shorts and tshirt weather here!
Ruben friendica
You've fully acclimatised to Sunny Sawtell. That didn't take long did it?

"America has decided that the coronavirus is over, no matter how many people get sick and die. It’s a very interesting experiment in mass denial." # Digby

Ruben friendica
I'm sure this is the one I used to visit occaisonally in the mid eighties. I remember the sawdust on the floor and a _very_ large Cornish Lurcher (dog) standing by the bar.

Did my tax return online. Took less time than ordering a pizza. The government's IT systems work spectacularly well, if you're not claiming some form of social security (or appealing the withdrawal thereof).

Got to the magic 12:30pm with no call into #. Now I have to work out what I will do with the afternoon, and find an excuse for wasting the morning.
Ruben friendica
I miss being able to walk round to visit.
Yes, properly wasting an afternoon is a collaborative enterprise. A bird never flew on the one wing, as Brendan Behan used to say.
Ruben friendica
I wasted my entire weekend but who is to say it was properly wasted if someone wasn't there to share in the wasting?
Ruben friendica
I didn't even go for a # ride because I've snapped a bunch of spokes in my back wheel and the bicycle shop in Broken Hill was closed so I couldn't even fix it. I was contemplating using wire or 'borrowing' some spokes from another bicycle. However I ended up ordering some from the lovely Abbotsford Bike Shop in locked down Melbourne. Now that I have managed to buckle both my wheels and the front forks are at risk of snapping I may have to consider a stronger # Broken Hill, as it turns out, breaks bikes.


I'd like to live somewhere where you don't hear the word "f***" quite so often. It's a lovely and evocative word, and as such should be used judiciously.

YouTube: Billy Connolly - Four Letter Word (WhosYourDaddyNow)

#, attempt no. 134: Anybody without the surname Henson aiming for the voice of Kermit the Frog will inevitably miss, and hit the voice of Bill Gates.

The intimidation and provocation continue at # lovely # apartments. F-bomb Freddy has been drinking since late morning. I got home from work expecting a smouldering hellscape, but all was quiet. However I'd barely got my shoes off before the stereo started. Van Morrison at first, but now some people call me Maurice (don't you worry), and other classics of the good ole boy genre.

The neighbours, bless them, know it's best to frustrate him by not taking the bait, thus denying him the fight he so desperately needs. However, since yesterday there is a family AirB&Bing the unit a couple of doors down from Freddy (it's school holidays in NSW). A stern "now look here, my man" from the father will result in a couple of permanently traumatised kids - albeit with a vocabulary newly expanded with a rich library of expletives to express their pain.

Worst holiday ever.

I've always thought three years in one place of # is enough. Best to move on before your employer really gets the measure of you and is justifiably outraged at being swindled.

Now, a few months shy of that target, I've been persuaded to join the firm as a (part time) permanent. Necessity of the current conditions. Shelter in place. Oh, this won't end well…
Ruben friendica
Splendid, there's management potential in you my boy. You'll go far.
I've managed to agree to a 20% cut in my hourly rate. I can't afford to go much further.
Ruben friendica
@Matthew Davidson surely you mean you took an extra 20% wage cut out of their miserly 498 million profits.
Ruben friendica
@Matthew Davidson you'll be getting sick pay and holiday pay now ... and later you can probably transfer to another store.

From the pages of "Well, Duh Quarterly", "The # Effect: Sci-Hub Downloads Lead to More Article Citations".

Interview with Stuart Maconie (late of the #, on his new book-length op-ed. Makes an argument I've long held that up to the neoliberal period the dole functioned as an informal arts grant.

Went outside this evening. At the # Bowling Club bar I was told "we're just changing the keg". What? I haven't told you what I wanted yet!

Of course the girl (now I suppose lady) behind the bar has been serving me for sixteen years, if only a few times a year of late.

I nearly cried.

I exist! I'm "a schooner of New, thanks", just as I have been to generations of bar staff since the late 80s.

Had to go home after one because two would be unjustifiably extravagant, and I've recently become quite averse to stocky, pot-bellied men who wear shorts and thongs in the middle of winter and use the word f*** as punctuation. Turns out there's a lot of them down the Bowlo.

So… F-bomb Freddy has discovered that he's got himself evicted. Which is to say that he's under the impression that the tenants of 20 other units quite unreasonably got him evicted. He was out on his balcony earlier - like the lead in a Shakespeare tragedy, albeit with a uniquely limited vocabulary - to declare that he didn't care, as he was planning to move out anyway. To alternative digs where apparently all his female neighbours will be queuing up to offer him oral sex.

Funny. I've been searching the local real estate listings, and I think I would have noticed that one. Sounds rather bothersome, to be honest. Before long I'd be hoping that the next knock on the door was the Jehovah's Witnesses.

He also swore to burn the place to the ground. So mixed messages there. A simple man moved by errant passions. Now feeling he has nothing to lose. #
Ruben friendica
Missives from our correspondent @Matthew Davidson in the frontlines of the Australian Suburban Breakdown during the still-birth of the Great Covid Depression

Ruben friendica
@Matthew Davidson
My inner social worker feels for F-bomb Freddy and the rest of the long suffering # dwellers.

# Carl Reiner. "A photo showing Mr. Reiner, Mr. [Mel]Brooks and Annie Reiner wearing “Black Lives Matter” T-shirts, taken on Mr. Brooks’s birthday, was posted on Twitter this week."

Looking to be a long night at the #. Already had threats screamed from the carpark. Then he tried to provoke a fight with "Bland Reggae for Redneck Stoners Vol. 3" at top volume. Now moved on to Johnny Cash. I've nothing against responsible use of Johnny Cash, but it's well known that people with a testosterone problem can't handle it.
What's bizarre is the theme tune from Bonanza, which I never realised had lyrics.

Obligatory test post.
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